


Pulse's racing, darling, how grand we are, little by little we meet in the middle

by SilverShadow1



Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: Alex talks about his kiss with Zach, Charlie confesses, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mention of Zalex, Not maliciously though, Post-Season/Series 04 Finale, Use of Homophobic Slur, Zalex, chalex - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-25
Updated: 2020-06-25
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:54:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24906400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverShadow1/pseuds/SilverShadow1
Summary: It's finally "later" for Charlie and Alex, and that means it's time for some difficult discussions.OrThey finally talk about Zach and Alex's kiss, and Charlie has a confession.
Relationships: Charlie St. George/Alex Standall
Comments: 18
Kudos: 107





	Pulse's racing, darling, how grand we are, little by little we meet in the middle

“Penny for your thoughts?”

It was a warm, sunny afternoon, and Alex and Charlie were sitting atop the hill. The hill so many people - so many of their friends - stood over the last couple of years. Where so much anger, so much heartbreak took place and, more recently, finally some healing.

Charlie was distracted, though. Thoughts racing through his head about the last few weeks. A couple of specific thoughts in particular, namely the revelation that Alex and Zach experienced … something. Something that he never imagined the two good friends sharing because they always seemed just that - good friends.

“Earth to Charles,” said Alex, waving a hand in front of his face. Charlie blinked, looking away from the seemingly tiny town. He offered Alex a lopsided smile. He hasn’t said it at this point, but he loved when Alex called him ‘Charles.’ Sure, he was used to the nickname ‘Charlie,’ but ‘Charles’ sounded so regal, so genuine coming from his boyfriend’s lips.

“Sorry,” said Charlie, blinking twice. “A lot on my mind, I suppose.”

“Anything you’d like to share with the rest of the class?” Charlie scoffed slightly, though not in a malicious way. More in a tired, ‘how do I bring up this topic?’ way.

“Can it be ‘later’ now?” he asked. When Alex looked at him confused, he elaborated. “To talk about you and Zach.”

He watched as recognition washed over Alex’s face, momentarily replacing the glow of the sunset on his soft features. Alex exhaled and nodded.

“Yeah,” said Alex. “Of course. Did you have specific questions?”

“When, I guess?”

“It was earlier this year. When Zach really started to spiral. Badly.” Charlie watched as his boyfriend looked out toward the town again. Then his eyes followed down to where Alex grabbed clumps of grass, ripping them out as he spoke.

“The two of us were up on a building’s ledge. Fucking stupid, I know, but he wanted to and … I guess I wanted to understand why he was spinning out. No, that’s not true. I did understand it, but I guess I thought if I was there for him like he was there for me during my recovery, well, I could keep him from doing one last reckless thing.”

“I stumbled and almost fell.” Charlie felt Alex grab his hand after the former’s sharp intake of breath. “Zach grabbed me, though, and pulled me back and … it was the adrenaline, Charlie. Mixed with some emotions as well. He was there for me when no one else was there. When I refused to let anyone else be there. He refused to let me push him away and at that moment, I’m pretty sure I thought I loved him as more than a friend.”

“And now?” said Charlie, softly. Alex shook his head.

“The only man I love is you,” said Alex. “Zach is one of my best friends, but I love you,  Charles Hayden Brixton  St .  George. Always will - it’s like, the only thing in this world that I’m confident about.”

“I’m glad,” said Charlie, kissing Alex’s knuckles. “Not about that being the only thing,” he added, quickly. “Hopefully it’s a stepping off point, I -”

Alex silenced him with a soft kiss on the lips, and Charlie smiled into it. Once they pulled apart again, Alex appraised him.

“There’s something else on your mind.” It wasn’t a question.

“There is,” he confirmed. “It’s something I need to confess, though.” Alex arched an eyebrow. “You remember when you were helping Zach’s prom date?”

“The hooker,” stated Alex, sardonically. Charlie rolled his lips to stop himself from giggling - it wasn’t that Alex said anything other than the truth, but the way he said things could make him laugh without even really trying.

“The hooker,” repeated Charlie. “I’m not sure you heard me as you were helping her, but I had said to Zach -”

“‘Be better,’” Alex stated, and Charlie smiled slightly.

“Yeah. It was something that he told us a lot during his brief tenure as captain. Something that he told us while the team was deservedly scrutinized this past year. Something he directly told me once when a group of us were in the library.”

“Why you?”

Charlie swallowed.

“It was - I can barely remember the conversation,” he said. “But Monty was there and so were some of the other guys, plus me and Zach. We were all screwing around and Monty made a snide remark about you and Zach being close, and then he made a comment about whether I would rather trust him or Tony, but he - well, he called Tony …”

“A fag?” Charlie nodded. “How original.”

“It was stupid, Alex. I was fucking stupid. I was still giving a shit what he thought and I asked him something like, ‘Wait, Tony’s a fag?’ That’s when Zach told me to shut up and be better.”

Alex was silent, and Charlie could feel his own heart in his throat.

“I already spoke to Tony … a while ago. Before he left. I don’t know, I guess that was stupid, too. Maybe part of me was looking for some absolution. Maybe I felt like a fucking lazy stereotype - you know, the bi guy who hates gay guys even though I definitely don’t. I just know that I’m still really fucking embarrassed about the person I was back then, but it also didn’t feel right keeping that from you. W-Why are you smiling?”

He watched as Alex gently stroked his knuckles with his thumbs. Then they made eye contact.

“You’re a good person, Charlie,” said Alex. “We all do and say a lot of stupid shit. Some of it is worse than others. Most of it is forgotten and never acknowledged.”

“I know you, though, and I know you didn’t say it with malice in your heart,” Alex continued. “I also know you’re no longer ignorant in that way. Like I’m no longer ignorant to make a fucking list ranking girls based on their body parts. We learn, we grow. Hopefully before it’s too late.”

Charlie rested his head on Alex’s shoulder and felt the boy’s head rest on top of his own.

“I love you, you know?”

Alex hummed.

“And I love you.”


End file.
